When people experience a loss or often a few losses in succession they can find it difficult to find their way through
The way is always through but this can be a daunting journey to take alone. The people around them may avoid talking about their loss, at the same time their mind keeps bringing them back to the loss and the fact that they cannot see, talk to, spend time with that person anymore.
Life is not the same, something is missing and the loss becomes their focus
Sometimes it’s the loss of a role, significance or purpose that people are grieving
These are all transitionary periods where life has changed. Friends, family, opportunity have left and there is nothing to fill the space
Often people want to avoid pain so they try to get on with life but without going through the internal process
However their are secrets to making the journey more easeful and it’s about making shifts that serve you to live your life. After all would the people you have lost really want you to stop living?
These shifts are all important in this transitionary process
Shift to self care – many people avoid this or feel guilty about it but creating space and time for you is key
Shifting the focus to serving others – there is great satisfaction in serving, helping others and doing something that makes a difference in the world. This is the shift from head to heart. From fear to love. Make a difference!
Shifting perspectives around loss (your loss is about you, not the other person) When technically it would make sense to be the other way around. Enlightening exploratory conversations help to shift perspectives so that they serve you better
Letting go of guilt, self punishment, anger, anxiety, negative thoughts, of any of this is going on you are not being present but are off visiting the past or future.
Getting comfortable with the space – change is uncomfortable for many people. For many this can be the place where depression sets up home. Space will always get filled with something so clarity on what you want to fill it with really matters
Gaining clarity about what you want – turn your loss into a legacy? How do you want to spend your life? Do you want to socialise more and meet new people?
Learning to be present – the only way to truly live
Learning to let go (life is flow, things flow in and out constantly) Things always change, you can create change and direct the course of your life with decisions that you make but some change is going to just happen. Understanding this really helps
Letting go of control (often we think we can control things. That’s the struggle bit!) being open to the possibilities. Control narrows life. You think you know how things will happen so all other possibilities are ignored resulting in missed opportunities
Loss is a process of understanding, change, acceptance of shifting your perspective. Be kind to yourself! It’s also an opportunity to create something truly amazing to make a difference. To create positive change. To turn your pain into power!
Because U Can